roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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