whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
