just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
