Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
