you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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