p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
