in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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