Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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