did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
