I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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