But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
