She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
