It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
