Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
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tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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