haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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