I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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