There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
