He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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