he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
