I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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