Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
