I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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