1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
