So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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