i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize