Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
