quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
