Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize