okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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