Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
