She's JV to your varsity
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
