Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
