I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
