Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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