I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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