and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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