well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
