My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize