i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
