he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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