He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never underestimate the power of titties
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
