PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
