SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
