he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
