Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
