Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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