ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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