Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
