went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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