You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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