think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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