There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
