Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
