Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
