in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
