on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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