He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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