what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
