Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have demons in me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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