there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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