There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
