And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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