Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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