You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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