He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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