I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Someone shit on the floor
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
