; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
